Yes! All you have to do is put your sex and birthdate onto this site, and it'll solve any problem you have!
機械だよりじゃないですか
You're just relying on an app.
（第一、性別と誕生日だけで何が・・・誕生日！）
In the first place, what can sex and birthdate tell you... Birthdate?
面白そうですね、是非みんなでやりましょう。
This seems interesting. Let's all do it.
私の誕生日は1月1日、元旦生まれですよ。
My birthday is january 1st. I'm a New Year's baby.
ふむふむ、えっと1月1日生まれは・・・
Um, born on january 1st...
あなたはアレキサンドライトのような人間です。
You're like an Alexandrite.
王の名を冠するこの宝石のように高貴でプライドの高い人物のようです。
Like the gem named after a king, you have a noble character and are full of pride.
また、この宝石は赤くも青くもなる珍しい特性があり、あなたは天使にも時には悪魔にもなるでしょう。
Moreover, just as this stone has the rare trait of appearing red or blue at times, sometimes you are an angel and sometimes a demon.
プライドを捨て素直に生きれば幸せが訪れます。ですって。
If you throw away your pride and be honest about your feelinges, happiness will come to you. That's what it says!
プライドが高い時には・・・悪魔！
When she's full of pride... she's a demon!
なにか？
Did you say something?
いいえ
No!
（はぁ、全然当たってないですね）
That was totally off.
藤原さんは確か・・・
Miss Fujiwara, Ibelieve your birthday is on...
3月3日の雛祭りです。
March 3rd, Girls' Day!
あなたは蝋燭の灯のような人間です。
You're like the flame of a candle.
周囲を照らす熱は少しずつ氷を溶かします。
You light up youre surroundings and your heat slowly melts ice.
その姿は献身、慈愛の象徴でもあり、これからも惜しまぬ愛を注ぎ続ければ願いは叶います。ですって。
That symbolizes dedication and affection. If you continue to pour love into everything you do, your wish will come true. That's what it says!
（献身？慈愛？知らない人ですね。強欲と自己愛の間違いじゃ？）
Dedication? Affection? I don't know that person. Are they sure it's not meant to be "greedy" and "narcissistic"?
僕も3月3日ですよ。
My birthday is also March 3rd.
何てことするんですか！ボケナス！
Why would you do that, you halfwit?
何で怒るんですか？
Why are you angry?
だって祝ってもらう時絶対同時開催になるじゃないですか。
When they celebrate mine, they'll have to celebrate for you at the same time!
石上君と一緒だったら私だけ特別じゃなくなるでしょ！バカ～！
Celebrating both of us together takes away my specialness, you idiot!
（所詮占いなんて思わせぶりな事を言って受け手が都合よく解釈するバーナム効果でしかありません）
In the end, horoscopes like that are no more than the Barnum effect, saying words that hint at a deeper meaning which the listener conveniently interprets to solve the problem.
（ですが、利用させてもらいます）
But I'll still use it here.
次は会長の番ですね？誕生日を教えてください。
You're next, President. Tell me your birthday.
俺はやらん。
I'm not interested.
占いなんて思わせぶりな事を言って受け手が都合よく解釈するバーナム効果でしかないだろう。
Horoscopes are no more than the Barnum effect, saying words that hint at a deeper meaning which the listener conveniently interprets.
い、いえ、そんな事はないですよ。例えば風水は建築学や統計の要素も盛り込まれていて・・・
N-NO! That's not true! For example, feng shui incorporates elements of architecture and statistics.
でもこれは誕生日占いだろ。誕生日ってのはただ純粋に生まれた日付だ。それに意味なんてあるかよ。
But we're talking birthday horoscopes, right? You birthday is just the day you happened to be born on. Like there's any meaning to that?
い、いえ、年に一度の大切な日ですよ！
There is! It's a special day that only comes around once a year!
四宮だけには一度俺の誕生日を伝えたことがあるんだがなぁ。
I once told you and only you what day my birthday was, Shinomiya.
記憶力のある四宮が忘れる程度のものだろう？
You have a good memory, but even you forgot something so inconsequential.
I remember! You birthday's on September 9th which makes you a Virgo! Your blood type is O and your birth weight was 2,118grams, right? I remember it, but...
そう言わずに。これ人格診断だけじゃなくて相性占いもできるんですよ。一緒にやりましょうよ。
Don't be like that! Other than personality analysis, this can do compatibility divination! Let's do it!
絶対にやらない！
I'm not doing any of it!
（もー！何なんですか！人がノブレスオブリージュの精神で会長の誕生日を祝ってあげようっていうのに！）
Jeez! What's with you? When someone's trying to celebrate your birthday out of a sense of noblesse oblige!
（どうせ会長は私の誕生日も祝ってくれるつもりもないのでしょ！プイ！）
Even though I'm sure you have no intention pof celebrating my birthday, right?
